Is it a chemical that makes this moment true?

Starting a new school year, at home, abroad, wherever, is always such a difficult time. It's absurd, really. I just imagining an alien exploratory study vessel watching as 17,000 people almost arbitrarily, but in patterns of agreed-upon times and periods, spontaneously walk between a number of outlying buildings and a smaller number of buildings that are located near the center of the other buildings. In the mean time they all stop to acknowledge the presence of a variety of other individuals, saying hello to a select number of individuals but walking by the majority of passers-by.

But maybe I'm just a little strange. This whole start of classes thing is rather overwhelming, because not only are classes starting but the deluge of emotions and stresses associated with starting those classes and seeing people you haven't seen in 3 years and trying to find a job and trying to plan 18 events all at the same time...well, you get the picture. In all honesty, it's not unusual, it's just going to take me a little while to get into the swing of things, since last year was sort of a bit of a free ride (well, in the nothing-to-do sense, not in the cost sense).

Nonetheless, it's a lot of fun, you know, having these first few weeks. Right now is the time when it feels like you have to see everyone and do everything or else you'll miss it all (so it's really easy to get motivated). I wish I could take some of this energy, store it up, and tap into it at the end of the quarter when I literally am forced to lock myself up in the library and write and write and write. Actually, it's not this bad this quarter. Spring quarter will be hell...but I'll deal with that when it comes.

Point is, life is a little absurd right now. Give it time and at some point it may actually seem back-to-normal. This first week, though, while everything is still in chaos and I worry that I won't be able to enroll in enough units since really I only have classes that I have to take in the spring left to finish my major, I've just got to push through. Things will work themselves out, I'm sure.

But, alas, new experiences are always fun. Life goes on.

Popcorn: or a treasure map of my consciousness

So, summer's over. It's official, in some circles. Well, almost. Labor Day is the "unofficial end of summer," but it might as well be the end. I don't really know what to say about that. On the one hand, I'm excited. On the other, I'm sort of sad to be changing environments. I'm also anxious that I and everyone on campus have changed a lot over the summer and that it will take a while to get back into the normal groove of seeing each other all the time. But that's what going back is all about.

Is it weird that listening to songs about home the first thing that popped into my head was being on campus?

I went to Disneyland again. It was better this time, even though the rides were shut down for an entire morning because of a (very minor) earthquake. I think the key, though, was that it wasn't as random an excursion but was more planned as a day between friends, and that we watched Fantasmik! (sp?) That show always gets me. I don't know what it is about all it's hoopla about imagination and looking into your mind and such, but it just speaks to me. It obviously speaks to a lot of other people as well, or else it wouldn't be the most popular show at the park.

I regret that I have yet to make it to Seal Beach this summer. I might stop there for breakfast or something before heading up on Monday. Or go there Sunday if I can. In any case, it's more of a nostalgia thing than a Seal Beach is great thing. I'll get there sometime.

Ever have one of those days? No? Neither did I. But still.

This is your brain. This is your brain on overdrive. This is your brain in a frying pan. Any questions? Yes, um, you there, in front...

A million lights are dancing and there you are, a shooting star. An everlasting world and you're here with me, so let it be.

Xanadu.